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What has nine blurbs and hates April Fool’s Day? This newsletter.
It’s not just that trickery is the sworn enemy of news (though, that), it’s also that some of us are a little more susceptible to pranks, lies, fibs, setups, practical and impractical jokes, and benign humiliations than others. And those people don’t need a whole day of them. We really don’t.
So: Not just for my sake, but for all of yours, I recommend maybe getting all of your cultural exposure and human contact sorted over this weekend, so that come Monday and its attendant recreational mendacity, you can hunker down unbothered till Tuesday.
And just to be clear, nothing in this newsletter is a trick or a lie. Especially the part about Lindsey Buckingham.
BEST GUEST: You’re from here, and “Late Night” host/“SNL” emeritus Seth Meyers is visiting, so . . . technically you are hosting, and this gig of his at the Wilbur Theatre on Saturday and Sunday ends up being a major power grab in your favor! But don’t let this go to your head, especially since two of the three shows are already officially sold out. And maybe don’t go onstage to welcome him out. Or demand access to his dressing room. The more I think about it, let’s actually just forget this whole proposal. (Apart from the remaining tickets, which are here!)
COASTING BY: A friend of mine told me that after a quarter century, “Kids” has become one of her favorite comedies, to which I thought, “Wow, that is dark,” but which later weirdly made sense after seeing previews for “The Beach Bum.” Writer-director Harmony Korine’s newest outing stars Matthew McConaughey as “a brain-dead stoner poet-dude,” as Globe film critic Ty Burr puts it in his 2½-star review. And as with Korine’s past films — from “Gummo” and “Julien Donkey-Boy” to “Trash Humpers” (careful with that click) and “Spring Breakers” — the vibe is amped-up ambivalence (where “amp” is short for “amphetamine”). “It’s a Harmony Korine movie,” writes Burr, “so it pushes any possible response right back onto your plate. You may come away with a stomach ache. The director would probably like that.” Now screening.
RETURN OF THE MAC: This is hard for me to talk about because the news of Lindsey Buckingham’s recent departure from shawl-rock superstars Fleetwood Mac divided the fanbase into spicy pro- and anti-Buckingham factions, when before it was perfectly acceptable for us all to come together and simply suppress our respective opinions about how the songs he sang brought each album their lowest points. WHOOPS! Anyway, the Lindseyless but still Stevie’d, reliably Fleetwooded, and newly [Neil] Finn’d legends return for two “Evening With Fleetwood Mac” gigs at TD Garden on Saturday and Tuesday. Find tickets here. (And don’t e-mail to yell at me; I actually think “Trouble” is a perfect song!)
FEEL THE BERN: For a night you can’t forget, head out to New Bedford on Saturday, when two-time Tony Award winner Bernadette Peters makes her first-ever appearance at the Zeiterion Performing Arts Center. Fresh off of her tenure as Dolly Gallagher on Broadway, she’ll be performing a repertoire of her personal favorites (from “Dolly” to “Gypsy” to standards, pop songs, and everything in between). It’s a perfect opportunity to catch her before she opens the 134th season of the Pops on May 8. Find tickets here.
BLEY HIVE: Elsewhere in legends, on Friday and Saturday you can catch jazz powerhouse Carla Bley, who, at 82, is still smoking stages with hubby Steve Swallow on bass and saxophonist Andy Sheppard. The trio is playing four evening sets at Regattabar, and Globe contributor Bill Beuttler writes to expect “a mix of unrecorded, newish compositions and what Bley calls ‘a couple of pieces that are ridiculously old’ ” (like “Vashkar,” first recorded in 1963 by Bley’s first husband, Paul Bley). Find tickets here.
MONET MATTERS: Out at Worcester Art Museum through April 28, you can experience a sublime sensation of nonuple vision at “Monet’s Waterloo Bridge: Vision and Process,” an exhibition that gathers nine of the painter’s depictions of the London landmark that would became an icon of his oeuvre. Globe art critic Murray Whyte says that “Monet’s project feels almost like a painterly self-dare, an endurance test with no end.” It’s a fascinating look at how an Impressionist work goes from an impression to almost finished to maybe finished to I’m guessing it’s finished to he’s dead so yeah. Find more information here.
EARLY STAGES: Down in Providence at Trinity Repertory, you can catch the world premiere of “The Song of Summer,” a promising new play from the inventive playwright of “Hookman,” Lauren Yee (whom Globe theater critic Don Aucoin then heralded as an “assured and original voice”). Directed here by Taibi Magar, the play follows a pop singer’s journey to an unsettling discovery in the home of his childhood piano tutor. It’s up through April 14; find tickets here.
BREAK TIME: And lastly from the outside world, identical twins Billy and Bobby McClain — a.k.a. The Wondertwins — have spent decades breaking down breaking (i.e. breakdancing) for the masses. On Saturday, they pop and lock their way into the José Mateo Ballet Theatre’s new Dance Saturdays series at the Sanctuary Theatre in Cambridge. Find tickets here.
OR STAY IN! Eerily prescient and preternaturally evil, the lauded HBO political comedy and font of savage zings “Veep” has soared atop Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s magnetic (if you’re an Emmy) performance as Selina Meyer, whose quite literal approach to effortless leadership feels uncomfortably familiar. It’s the feel bad comedy of the century — provided we have a century left — and tops Globe TV critic Matthew Gilbert’s “Political TV Hall of Fame.” On Sunday at 10:30 p.m., the seventh and final season premieres with a kickoff in (where else?) Iowa.
And not to treat Bill Hader like an opening act, considering how beloved “Barry” became after just one season; but get to your couch a half-hour early to catch Hader and Henry Winkler’s return for a second act. That’s at 10 p.m. on HBO.
If that’s all a bit too much grit and pottymouth for you, there’s always “Masterpiece.” The PBS monument presents the premiere of “Mrs. Wilson” Sunday evening at 9, starring Ruth Wilson as (what’s this?!) her own grandmother — which is extra meta because me watching “Mrs. Wilson” is kind of like me playing my own grandmother.
And on Saturday night, the “so damn likable” Sandra Oh takes hosting duties on “Saturday Night Live” (promoting the return of “Killing Eve” to BBC America on April 7) with earwormy Aussie psych-merchants Tame Impala filling in for good jokes.
And that, soon to be deceived Weekenders, is all I’ve got for you this weekend. Believe nothing and trust no one (starting now), and however you decide to spend your weekend, make it one you’ll miss come Monday.
See you next time!Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @MBrodeur.